“Life is useless if there is no one who lives for it.”
I need your help
I think I lost my soul
Last time I saw it
It was hanging from the ceiling
I am the center of attraction. Everyone I had loved and cared about are either sitting or standing in front of me. I never thought this moment will ever happen. They are silent. Some are just staring at where I am and some are having small talks with the persons next to them. It’s my first time hearing them talk good stuffs about me; my family, my closest friend, and even my acquaintances—this is unbelievable. I remember that I refused to have a party before to celebrate my eighteenth birthday to avoid this too much attention, but now it’s happening.
Everyone laughs when my friends retells the silly things I did before, everyone is reminiscing the old memories we had. Am I supposed to be glad now or not? Everyone went completely silent when they saw my mom walking towards the platform. She is holding a face towel and a folded piece of paper in one hand—guided by my father. She exhaled so deep before finally grabbing the microphone. “I would like to give thanks to everyone who went here, today, you are all gladly appreciated” she stutters.
As I grew older
Everything started to make sense
I slowly becoming aware
Why people drowns themselves on alcohol
Why people smokes despite knowing its cons
Why people puts permanent marks on their wrists
Why people takes too many pills
Why people secretly hides a rope under their beds
Last night, I’ve came across a Face book post that tackles about how people use terms of mental illnesses as an adjective. (See the post I’m referring to by clicking here) There are wide varieties of mental illness both known today and stated at that post, but I will focus more about Depression since that is the things I can relate to.
Depression is a thing—an illness. Admit it or not, most people thought that depression is the same thing as worrying and/or over-thinking which is absolutely wrong. Depression as I’ve said is an illness same as when you got a high fever. It should be treated fairly and not be ignored or worse underestimated. Depression is honestly cannot be easily defined specifically & scientifically. But then, depression is beyond sadness and a feeling of emptiness and if you asked those persons who personally suffers depression, there is a huge possibility that they, themselves, doesn’t know how to explain or rather understand the cause of their pain. Some depression are caused by traumatic experiences and some just happened to be present; but regardless of those, they are both depression and it causes destruction on people who suffers.
Scratches were found in the stomach
Uneven scars were plotted on the wrists and up
In between the throw pillows were silvery sharp objects, and the
Carpeted floor was filled with pills
In the middle of the room, a
Dead body was hanged, another dead soul was
Eliminated from this mad, mad world
When I exhaled my last breathe
And my heart no longer beats
Will you flash a smile for me?
And do a favor as I ask?
When I die
Can you place my hands on my ears?
I’m not sure about this, but I don’t wanna hear another sobs