Ang Nawawala



Patuloy na tumatakbo sa madilim na lugar na ‘di mo mawari.

Buong puwersang kumakawala sa kadena na ikaw mismo ang nagtali.

Kasabay pa ng pakiramdam na para bang mag-isa pero ‘di mo maamin.

Takot sa bulong at sulyap ng mga tao sa paligid.

Paano nga ba tumakas sa rehas na ikaw ang mismong nagtayo?

Sino nga ba ang tunay na sayo ay magtatayo?

Ang Nawawala

My Depression is Insane

I am fragile. My depression is insane—selfish. She wants all the attention in the world.

She wakes up so late in the morning because she likes to stare at the ceiling at 3 am. She doesn’t want to attend my classes, school works make her sick. She eats a lot. She loves to lie at my bed all day. For her, even the simplest tasks are too overwhelming. She’s so quiet and so lazy. But most of the times she’s undeniably crazy. She cries a lot and I don’t know why. When my dog peed on my bed, she cries. When I lack a piece of coin, she cries. When someone shouts, she cries. When something is missing, she cries. When she sat, she cries. When she sleeps, she cries.

She wants to escape this world…with me. I said, “No”—and she mumbles. She is sad just like I am. She is misunderstood. She is ignored. She stares at the passersby who don’t care.

My Depression is Insane

The Gathering

I am the center of attraction. Everyone I had loved and cared about are either sitting or standing in front of me. I never thought this moment will ever happen. They are silent. Some are just staring at where I am and some are having small talks with the persons next to them. It’s my first time hearing them talk good stuffs about me; my family, my closest friend, and even my acquaintances—this is unbelievable. I remember that I refused to have a party before to celebrate my eighteenth birthday to avoid this too much attention, but now it’s happening.

Everyone laughs when my friends retells the silly things I did before, everyone is reminiscing the old memories we had. Am I supposed to be glad now or not? Everyone went completely silent when they saw my mom walking towards the platform. She is holding a face towel and a folded piece of paper in one hand—guided by my father. She exhaled so deep before finally grabbing the microphone. “I would like to give thanks to everyone who went here, today, you are all gladly appreciated” she stutters.

Continue reading “The Gathering”

The Gathering

This World Is Mad

As I grew older

Everything started to make sense

I slowly becoming aware

Why people drowns themselves on alcohol

Why people smokes despite knowing its cons

Why people puts permanent marks on their wrists

Why people takes too many pills

Why people secretly hides a rope under their beds

Continue reading “This World Is Mad”

This World Is Mad